Looking back at my before journey I am unable to reconcile that person with the person I am right now. I am not saying am a great perfect person but man I could have done better. I think am one of the daftest people to ever exist on this planet, this side of South Sahara and River Limpopo. Except for now that I have used that line about Sahara and River Limpopo, I have always wanted to do that since my first year in high school as it was a CRE teacher’s favorite saying. So I was saying, am daft, stupid and an idiot. I don’t even know how I have lived with myself all this while. Maybe it’s because I have been in denial or because I was just naive.
Remember me talking about the dude, Kedi, my first crush, in the post love is / Right, now I can boldly say that that guy had bebad me malenge (pumpkin) because I still don’t get why I entertained his sorry ass that long. I claim temporary insanity and that he probably went to Swaleh Mdoe’s babu and kaliad me chapati. So here I am, all graduated, armed with the power to read and write and do everything that pertains to my degree. I get my first job, a direct sales representative, a job that would get my introverted self out of my shell.
It doesn’t take long before Kedi locates me since am back to the hood staying with my parents. At this point I think it is only fair to also accept that I am full of myself and may at times overlook details, details that are important about others as you are about to see. Kedi has also finished college, and right now am really trying to think what he studied and I can’t remember having that conversation. Anyway I could tell for sure he didn’t have a job and didn’t mind it. So we catch up, talking about lots of nothing, I think I just liked to look at his smile. He had the sexiest smile ever, he kinda looked like RL the artist from the then all famous boy band Next, he represented the bad boy.
Now most if not all sales people will tell you that after a day or a week of great or whack sales all they think about is unwinding. For my team and I the perfect unwinding was hanging out partying at the clubs. It is during these random sessions that I bump into Kedi. Stupidly I was always so excited to see him I never once thought why he wasn’t out with me. Now this is where my daftness starts to pick momentum. Every time I was about to leave or he wanted to leave a joint he would make sure he bid me goodbye and with that ask me, “Si uniachie kitu basi?” Or “vipi fare?”. I never at any moment found this to be weird and of course would part with some cash. Looking back I realise I didn’t have expenses, staying at my parent’s and almost never paying for the bills in the night outs, I could afford to be philanthropic .
Whenever asked him about visiting him he’d find a way to evade, either he would be working or his phone would just go mteja. You must be wondering why I was still holding on to his ass despite this. Well for one he had once told me he liked me so much and wanted us to end up together but he was trying to get himself a proper job. In fact he even alluded that his mum kept asking when I was going to their rural home. You can now clearly see I was justified to be in my stupor.
I was technically single. Having called it quits with Frank and not in a defined relationship with Kedi I found myself lonely. Again I got carried away by my naivete and daftness. In what started as a mistake, a one night stand, I got into a relationship with another punk called Vince. Okay, another disclosure, I love me some eye candy and my friend Winnie will tell you I love them pleasant to my eyes. Now Vince was a mix between Morris Chestnut and Flex, tall dark and handsome(TDH).
When it comes to Vince I find consolation in numbers because am not the only one who fell for his charms. As if being TDH wasn’t bad enough, this guy was intelligent, both logically and emotionally. What drew me to him, apart from the obvious, was that we could actually hold substantive and intelligent conversations. He provoked my brain in a way Kedi could never attempt with topics varying from religion, politics, social and economic matters. But alas he was playing me a fool in a more complex way. What this man was offering me was….Nothing….nothing except he was ensuring he was going to be getting free sex.
He convinced me that there was no need to go public letting people know our business. He liked me and he wanted to spend as much time as possible with me. Charm is deceptive and even geniuses will stammer. He wined and dined me in places that I had never been to before, he for the better part developed the cynic in me with his conversations. From his lifestyle and the job he had I knew I wasn’t dealing with another hustler. Then he started something that I didn’t realise at the time, borrowing money from me to entertain me and the others. Yes I knew about the existence of the others because when you are young you think everyone is your friend and you go blabbering. Unfortunately I have been that person that people feel they should confide in and I sadly had to shoulder the agony of knowing he was hitting on all these girls in my circle. Then like most girls at that age I was more concerned about being in The list than about the list. Vince on his part lived up to the man code:Deny, deny, deny and then deny again. Just like Shaggy sung, even when caught butt naked, which i did by the way, even then ,”It wasn’t me” is your chorus. So here I was doing the same thing all over again but this time I would always be paid back and then borrowed again and cheated on though technically I was not being cheated on since our relationship was such that it was a secret. I think right now the most daft thing that I was doing at that time was sustaining his cheating ass and enabling his philandering. I wasn’t to date but he could date so that people wouldn’t suspect us.
How did I break off the two relationships? Well I broke up with both after having a eureka moment. It suddenly dawned on me that a man who is interested in you would never ask you for money, Never. Unless he’s your husband or friend but not a potential boyfriend. Instead the proper thing for him to do is borrow from his boys or family. The last stroke for Kedi was when he called me for a drink and on settling down to catch up he asks me to pay the bill. It was the last bill I paid and blocked his number. He didn’t believe I was walking away, something that’s common, people never think I can walk from anything I value with a straight face. He kept asking me to at least give him transport home, but I was very categorical, he called me and not the other way round which meant he should have been taking care of the expenses.
With Vince it was a bit tricky, as it was also a sort of an abusive relationship. Maybe, just maybe, one day I will get the courage to talk about it. But maybe meeting this other charmer, Sitati, did it. Best guy ever! Tall, dark, handsome and sexy. Sitati was a breath of fresh air, a gentleman. I didn’t date him because I was scared of what he represented, while I was ghetto he was everything classy. I would never fit in into his world. He is the kind of person who never looks at the price tag, the word expensive doesn’t exist in his vocabulary. While am a more practical person and prefer to plan a lot of things, Sitati is a guy of now, a guy living for the moment. It is him who taught me that women are to be respected and treated like the gem they are. He bought me two significant gifts. One was a Bible which he granted me for my birthday from a random wish list I made on Facebook. The other thing he got me was a watch. This was because I never kept time and he felt I needed to start respecting other people’s time. Oops! I was almost forgetting about the expensive box of chocolate and the bottle of lacquer. See, never an ordinary day or gift from him. Sitati, he thinks I friend zoned him while in reality I was always scared. Scared that with all his awesomeness he’d break my heart and walk away. He effortlessly commands attention from the womenfolk and he is as smooth as they come with them. I think this is the only time I wasn’t daft because for once I reasoned, used my brain to reach a decision. He probably knows me better than any of the guys I dated.
Well even after all that Mr. Person happened and proved that I definitely held the PhD for Daftness. Am still digesting this one so I can come back with a proper analysis. In the meantime if you hear about Daft Women Anonymous do holla at me I need a dose of some common sense.
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